I thought, well, I will just heat some water and enjoy a cup of tea.  The stove is electric.  Okay, I will get some of those pictures hung in the hall that have been waiting on me.  Hall is dark without lights.

Really grateful it is a warm, fall day as our heater requires electricity and so does our fireplace.

Can’t work on the computer – back to pen and paper.  Can’t read unless I sit by the window.  Can’t cook or clean.  (Oh! Too bad!!) Can’t watch TV or talk on the phone.  We may have to go out to lunch and sit and talk to each other face to face.  :) 

Hmmmmm.  Amazing how quickly challenges can become blessings!!

I thought, well, I will just heat some water and enjoy a cup of tea.  The stove is electric.  Okay, I will get some of those pictures hung in the hall that have been waiting on me.  Hall is dark without lights.

Really grateful it is a warm, fall day as our heater requires electricity and so does our fireplace.

Can’t work on the computer – back to pen and paper.  Can’t read unless I sit by the window.  Can’t cook or clean.  (Oh! Too bad!!) Can’t watch TV or talk on the phone.  We may have to go out to lunch and sit and talk to each other face to face.  :) 

Hmmmmm.  Amazing how quickly challenges can become blessings!!

Reckless words pierce like a sword,

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Ladies, one of the most important things we will ever do is pray for our husbands. It should be our “go-to” move when all else fails.  But really, we want this to become our “go-to” move before we do anything else.

Husbands Have To Take On the External World 
From the beginning, men were designed to go out, kill the bear and fight the battle.   Women were designed to be home stoking the fire, talking to the other women, giving birth, and nurturing the children.

Our Ultimate Joy
We can, in this modern world, think that is backward, patriarchal, oppressive to women or whatever, but the truth is our ultimate joy will come from doing what God designed us to do.  I did not fully grasp this until I was 40.  I encourage you to “get it” sooner than I did.

There Are Women Probably Saying…

“He should be the one praying for the family and praying for me.  Isn’t he supposed to be the spiritual leader of the home?  And remember, I have to take on the world too!” (I know this because I was one of those women saying this!)

Well, yes.  Sort of.  It’s different.  Ladies, stay with me here.  We are talking about us.  We need to let the guys teach the guys.  One of my favorite phrases by my friend Lorenzo Dunford comes to mind:  The problem with everyone else is you. Meaning:  We have to only look at our contribution to the problem.  Not the other person’s.

Oh, and, be assured, that husband will never change by our huffing and puffing around about it.  In fact, that will only make things worse.

My Husband.  Country Lawyer.
For my situation, when I think of my husband, every single day going to work, taking care of other people’s personal, legal and therefore, usually, emotional problems, explaining complicated legal issues to them, fighting battles in a courtroom, keeping track of documents and court rules, arguing with other attorneys day in and day out, traveling all over the state to various small town courthouses, and then trying to get people to pay him……..Man!  The guy needs some prayer!  

And after all that, he gets to come home and be a good husband and father.

A lot of times he loves what he does, but a lot of times he would much rather be hanging out with his family, working on our house, or planting trees on our little piece of land, or playing his guitar and writing music.  But, he goes to work anyway.

Here It Is In a Nutshell:

Our goal must be to become the model of a woman any good man would want as his wife.  Loving, praying, gentle, not nagging, frugal, productive, etc…..Just read Proverbs 31 and you will get the picture.

And Why?  (this is the important part) Because…
We are accountable to God for our actions while we are here on earth playing the roles that we have chosen.  Wife, and maybe mother.

Our husbands are accountable for their own actions.  We are not accountable for our husband’s actions.  Only ours.  That thought helps me just do the best I can possibly do and not worry about what he is doing.  God will be on his case, so I don’t have to.  Hooray!  One less thing to do!

So.  The Prayer.
Our godly behavior and our praying will be the vehicle that changes things.
And that’s it.  With that in mind, here is a fantastic prayer adapted from one in the book Prayers That Avail Much.
Print it out, fill in your husband’s name and start praying it.  This prayer has various scripture throughout.  Praying God’s Word (words from the Bible) is the most powerful prayer.  I believe you will see change if you will be patient.

A Prayer for My Husband

Father, as I intercede for my husband, I pray that you will honor my request.  Every word I confess on behalf of my husband shall come to pass for I pray Your Word and not my will.

Father, I thank you that my husband ________ takes Your Word and confesses it daily over himself and his whole household.  I thank You that he listens to Your wisdom.  Together he and I dwell securely in confident trust, and we are without fear or dread of any evil.

My husband’s ears are attentive to skillful and godly wisdom that inclines and directs his heart and mind to understanding.  He applies all of his power to the quest of wisdom and understanding.  He lets not mercy, kindness, or truth, forsake him.  He binds them about his neck and he writes them on the tablet of his heart.

He truly prizes the wisdom of God highly and exalts her (wisdom).  Wisdom, in return, exalts and promotes him, bringing him honor because he embraces her.  For You, O Lord, are his confidence, firm and strong, and You keep his foot from being caught in a trap or hidden danger.

Wherever he goes, Your Word shall lead him.  When he sleeps, Your Word shall keep him.  When he awakens, Your Word shall talk to him.  Therefore, he will speak of excellent and princely things, and the opening of his lips shall be for right things.

I say by faith that the words of his mouth are righteous, upright and in right standing with You, and there is nothing contrary to the truth or crooked in them.  He lives considerately with me, with an intelligent recognition of our marriage relationship.

He honors me as physically the weaker.  However, he realizes that we are joint-heirs to the throne with Jesus spiritually.  He does this in order that our prayers will not be hindered or cut off.

He daily confesses that we are of one and the same mind, united in spirit, compassionate and courteous, tenderhearted and humble-minded.  He prays for and has faith for our welfare, happiness, and protection, because we choose to love and respect each other.

Father, thank You that we are a couple of good report, that we are successful in everything we set our hands to do.  We are uncompromisingly righteous.  We capture human lives for You as fishers of men.

As we do this, we are confident that You are the Lord God who teaches us to profit and who leads us in the way we should go.  We are bountiful and are abundantly supplied, with every need met, in the name of Jesus.  We have obtained the favor of the Lord, and Your will is done in our lives and in the lives of our children.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.   

(Adapted from Prayers That Avail Much Commemorative Gift Edition. Copyright © by Germaine Copeland, 1997. Published by Harrison House, Tulsa, Oklahoma, 74153, www.harrisonhouse.com. Used by permission.)

Much like a prescription given by a doctor, this prayer will only work if “worked.”  It is not a “magic formula,” but a tool to consistently and slowly renew your mind to an awesome viewpoint and heart condition concerning your husband.  My strong recommendation is that you pray it early in the morning before the day begins, again at noon, and in the evening.  However, know that the more you pray, the more effective it will be.  There is power in His Word, and when we use His Word, that power is released onto the area of our heart’s cry.  Don’t grow weary. Grow confident in your words of faith.

Beautiful, huh?

~ Allison McCune Davis~

Allison is a wife of fourteen years and a homeschooling mama of four children, soon to be more after a new adoption.  Her latest passion (besides raising her babies) is writing on her website, http://www.girlreturnshome.com  She writes about international adoption, home management, homeschooling, marriage, and other wife and mom issues.

Allison grew up in the 60’s and 70’s when culture taught women to be career-oriented feminists.  She was a TV producer in San Antonio, Texas, and Los Angeles, California, for sixteen years before meeting the man of her dreams in her small hometown in Oklahoma.  After moving home to get married and have babies, everything shifted.  This woman’s viewpoint changed 180 degrees.

 With her husband operating his law practice out of their home now, with her help, their goal is to be debt-free, focus on their God-given gifts and abilities to affect the world, and continue raising children who will also change the world for the better.

Copyright © 2011 by A Cup of Tea for the Heart, LLC. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in
any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the
prior permission of the authors except as provided by USA copyright law.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New
International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.
Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

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About five years ago I met one of the loves of my life— Breezy, a bay six-year-old Quarter Horse mare. She was nothing but a trail horse at the time and quite frankly not much to look at. Her coat wasn’t particularly shiny, she wasn’t all that strong and there had been a time in her life when she had been mistreated, and as a result she had  some trust issues … but none  of this mattered to me. In  fact,  at  the  time  I  didn’t  even  notice  how  unattractive she was physically. See, Breezy may have been “just a trail horse” but  when  I rode  her for the  first time, she and I  had  an  instant  bond that  even  my professional  trainers were amazed at. Horse crazy, starry-eyed, and with a passion for training horses, I was able to look right past her dull, shaggy hair, and  I saw something special in Breezy.  I wanted to help her become the best she could be.

The following fall we started making payments on Breezy  and  with  that,  I  started setting  goals  for her  and for both  of us as a team. With the help of my trainer, I was going to bring out Breezy’s inner barrel racer!

Just like in most things, there are many views on how to go  about training a barrel horse. I wanted a sure way, not  a fast  way or an  easy way,  but  a sure way.  I wanted to set her up for long-term success. Thankfully, I was blessed to know a very good trainer and friend to guide me along the way. So began the long process of building  a successful  barrel  horse!  It  started with  getting  her as healthy as possible—adding supplements to her feed, having the appropriate health professionals work on her, and exercising her every day. The next step was getting her  as “broke”  as possible … meaning,  making  sure she was a master at responding to all of the very basic cues I’d give her while on and off her back. Little did Breezy know, with each ride she was one step closer to becoming an equine athlete.

Once Breezy was in top physical condition  and well broke, it was time for the skill drills! Skill drills are exercises to practice different components of the barrel pattern before trying to master the entire pattern all at once. At a glance, barrel racing is simply 4 straight lines and  3 turns, but when the timer is counting down to the hundredth of each second, every tiny detail of those lines and circles count! Rather than trying to shove all the information for the entire pattern into both my horse’s and my head at  once, we  did  skill  drills.  And  skill  drills  we  did! There was a drill that  taught us how to line up for the first barrel turn, another drill taught us how to leave a barrel turn, yet another drill that taught us how to quickly pick up speed and then quickly slow down again for another tight turn. The list goes on. Some of the drills came naturally, and we mastered them in little time. Other drills took weeks and weeks before Breezy understood and we did them  once correctly. Always, the more  calm, trusting, and focused on me that Breezy was, the quicker we were able to move  on.  With each ride, Breezy  and  I became closer and a better working team. Over time, Breezy learned that she could totally trust me and that if she simply tried what I asked, there  would be a reward. With each of these drills I was teaching Breezy  something, a small piece of the big pattern that was to come. Of course, she was learning these small components along the way without any idea that  they’d  all  be  fitting  together someday. I  purposely kept Breezy from seeing the big picture of the full pattern until she had mastered all of the pieces (including trust) first.

Kelci L. Goad

I’m nineteen years old and  blessed with strong Christian parents, three brothers, one  ‘sister-in-love’  and  two  horses. Homeschooling  all  the way through high school has been one  of the  biggest blessings in my life thus far. I was able to discover and  explore my passion for training horses and  training people to train horses in much more  detail because of the  flexible schedule of studying from home. Along with training and competing on my own  horse, I had  several horse-related jobs through my high school years, including everything from mucking out  stalls to being a training apprentice my senior year with one  of the  leading professional trainers and  barrel racers in the Northwest. Now with a dream to turn  my passion  into  a career, I’m  going  to continue  my education studying equine business. I can’t wait to introduce more  people both young  and  old to the  wonderful world of horses!

This story is from Tough Times Don’t Last ~ Tough Women Do, now available on this website.

Copyright © 2011 by A Cup of Tea for the Heart, LLC. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in
any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the
prior permission of the authors except as provided by USA copyright law.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New
International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.
Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

“Do people who commit suicide go to hell?”

 I am a twenty-one-year-old, faithful servant of the Lord’s church, member of a strong spiritual family, soon to be registered nurse pursuing medical mission work, daughter of an elder, aunt to five precious children, student at a solid Christian university, sister to three protective big brothers, and a virgin to drugs, sex, alcohol, and other “big” sins. I have a solid future in a life full of blessings, joys, and opportunities to serve God and others. For many of you, this will be your story as well. Many readers of this book, like me, grew up in a Christian home, are surrounded with spiritually minded friends, and have a successful, happy future waiting for you. Basically, many of us were born into the dream life, the perfect environment for happiness, profound faith, and opportunities to do good for others.

For those of you who were not born into such an environment, I am sure you may look at people like us, like me, and question what we struggle with. What could a goody-good girl like me who has everything going for her possibly stumble over in such a perfect life? Those of you who have been or are presently entangled in sexual immorality, drugs, alcohol, lies, or any other sin our society deems as big, may look at Christians like me in envy, or even disgust. I expect you may find yourself at times literally waiting for Christians like me to stumble, to fail, to face a life-changing experience that will ‘bring us down’ to the same sins you yourself are trapped in. With these things said, I hope to accomplish three things through the sharing of my story. First, I hope those of you who were born into the same environment as myself will realize you are not invincible. Second, I hope those of you who are battling an internal monster of your own will open your eyes and see that you are not alone; you can defeat your monster. And last, I hope those of you who look at people like me in envy or disgust develop a new respect for the pressures that come with growing up in the “perfect” environment. If my story helps just one soul, then all that I have endured will be found worth it in my eyes and the eyes of my Lord.

 December 30, 2009, 12:15 a.m. As I sat at the edge of my bed, with my elbows on my knees and my head buried in my hands, sweat began dripping off of my body. Time seemed frozen as I became more and more trapped inside of my own mind. After a long while of sitting and trembling and sweating, I rose up, walked to my brother’s bathroom, opened the cabinet to his medication, grabbed the bottle of pills, and returned to my bed. I again assumed my position at the end of the bed where I would spend most of the night, trembling and sweating in prayer. I could hear my dad snoring across the hall. I wanted that familiar noise to soothe me. But it didn’t.

I quietly walked downstairs and watched my mom as she peacefully slept on the couch. I wanted the peace she appeared to have. But I couldn’t find it. I fought the urge inside of me to wake her up and tell her goodbye, but instead, I just watched her—cherishing the image of her lying there so unaware of my monster. I returned to my bed and again, the trembling and sweating took over. I opened my computer and typed in, “Do people who commit suicide go to hell?” I read article after article, trying to find just one religious person to tell me, “YES”. But it didn’t happen. Instead, the Bible verses popping up with each article made me feel even more pathetic at the thought of taking my own life. I noticed a new message in my inbox from a man I did not know. I opened it up and immediately became captivated by the words on my screen. This man was pleading with surrounding counties to help him raise money for his son—who was about my age—in order to provide him with a new heart, which he needed soon or he would die. The thought of heroically laying down my life to give my heart to a dying person temporarily soothed me, until reality kicked in and I realized not only was this impossible, but it was not justifiable.

Just like the articles, I found no justification for ending my own life, on my own time, by my own standards. I crawled off my bed, onto my knees, lifted my hands to God, and began sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to speak but nothing came out. Finally, I was able to muster up, “Help me!” I repeated these two words out loud for what seemed like hours. I reached onto my dresser, pulled down my Bible, laid it on my bed, and allowed it to flip open on its own. My eyes were drawn immediately to an underlined verse in my Bible that read, “…he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4, ESV). I began shaking again, but this time, in fear. For the next couple of hours I poured my heart out to God. December 30, 2009—my first encounter with my monster.

I am sure at this point you are wondering what on earth led me to the point of desiring to end my life. Was it a terrible family life? By no means. Did a boy dump me? Nope. Was I chronically depressed or suffering from a mental problem? Afraid not. The reason behind such a strong desire simply boiled down to a dwindling hope. You see, living righteously and striving to maintain innocence from the world requires standing aside as people you love most give their souls to Satan’s work.

On December 30, 2009, my heart had experienced an overwhelming amount of pain as I watched some of my favorite people on this earth live for drugs, sex, alcohol, and so much more. I watched people inside and outside of the church not only live for the world, but enjoy every second of it. Along with the pain of watching others purposely sin, I dealt with a daunting question, “If God is so powerful, and if He dwells inside of me, why can’t I get through to these people?” This question overtook my mind during my month-long Christmas break. It began eating away at my mind, heart, and soul until I literally believed I did not matter in this world.

Satan convinced me during that month away from my Christian friends at school that he would always win the souls of the people I loved most and that there was nothing I could do about it—not even with God’s help. I feared that if I continued to live I might lose faith in God, and so I wanted to depart from this earth before I abandoned Him. I wanted to be with Him in heaven, away from the sin and pain, before the sin and pain took over me. I wanted to go home.

As I reflect back on that night, I can’t help but point out the amazing words God spoke to me, “…he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” This verse is now specially marked with a ribbon in my Bible. Every time I open to this verse I remember to share God’s wonderful advice with others. No matter what your monster may be—homosexuality, hatred, insecurity, sexual immorality, drugs, alcohol, pornography, or even a dwindling hope—please believe that the God in you is far greater and stronger than your monster. Please believe and cling to the fact that those who wait on the Lord will have everlasting peace and happiness. All the pain, temptation, and sorrow we endure on this earth will be replaced by an eternity of perfection.

My advice to you is this: find godly friends—not perfect, but godly—who will encourage you by their lifestyle as well as hold your hand while you battle your monster. Dive into God’s word and allow His advice to comfort and stabilize you. Pour your heart out to Him in prayer, holding nothing back. Find out what thoughts bring you most peace and concentrate on those things during your low moments. On late nights when tiredness creeps in and takes control of your emotions and judgment, pray yourself to sleep having full confidence that you will feel renewed the next morning.

Avoid laying around idly because doing so invites Satan into your mind. If you are living in a life of public sin, realize now how such a lifestyle affects people in your life. If you are battling the thoughts of suicide, get help, whether from friends, family, or a professional. If you are quick to judge the “goody-good” people in your life, understand they have monsters of their own. And lastly, I beg you, at all times, “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV).

J.S.

I am a twenty-one-year-old nursing student pursuing a life in medical missions. I am the daughter of two wonderful parents, a sister of three older brothers and two sisters-in-law, and an aunt to five precious nieces and nephews. I enjoy photography, drawing, sports, exercising, writing, and traveling. I try not to go throughout a single day without laughing until I cry. I am very active in school, church, and with my social club. I was president of the nursing program for one year, chaplain of my social club for one year, and a member of the campus spiritual committee for one semester. I enjoy speaking at Ladies’ Days and devotionals. I hope to encourage and teach people in all that I do each day. My main goal is to enter heaven with my friends and family by my side.

This story is from Tough Times Don’t Last ~ Tough Women Do, now available on this website.

Copyright © 2011 by A Cup of Tea for the Heart, LLC. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in
any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the
prior permission of the authors except as provided by USA copyright law.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New
International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.
Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Tough Times Don’t Last ~ Tough Women Do

Table of Contents

“Meet Me for Tea”

Rita and Donna

“In this book you’ll find…”

Use Me for Your Glory

Pat Coppinger

“Don’t be surprised at suffering and trials.”

Standing on the Promises of God

 Rebecca Viola

“I married an alcoholic!”

Perfect Peace

Phyllis Green

“Where was the peace He promised?”

A Lesson Learned from My Son

 Bonnie Howard

“My son recognized that he was God’s creation, curvy spine and all.”

Give Me Strength 

 Vonda Fletcher

  (poem) 

The Lord Is My Shepherd

 Donna Watson

“I did not want to die.”

Fabulous Friends

Lisa Widener

“I love to tap in on the differences of my girlfriends.”

Beauty in His Eyes

 Joanne Wallace

“I thought you beautiful enough to die for.”

Overcoming a Personal Challenge

Debbie Hogan

“Do not ask me to speak!”

A Prayer for Our Husbands

  Allison McCune Davis

“Man!  The guy needs some prayer!”

Being Heirs Together of the Grace of Life

Karin Naylor

“My heart goes out to parents who have prodigals.”

Wurra, Wurra, Wurra

Vonda Fletcher

(poem)

The “What Ifs”

 Sally Jadlow

“Apply your ‘what ifs’ to positive possibilities.”

God’s Skill Drills

 Kelci L. Goad

“At a glance, barrel racing is simply 4 straight lines and 3 turns.”

Never Cease Teaching and Being Taught

 Wanda Johns

“No, everyone does not lie.”

Some Advice for the Seasons of a Woman

 Jenni Butz

“It is okay to tell God that you don’t like how things are.”

Best Advice from 80+ Years

 Lavelle Eicke

“One’s behavior is a reflection of what one believes to be true.”

Organizing My Life with Spiral Notebooks

 Beverly Dillow

“You are 80% more successful if you write down your goals and tasks.”

The Power of God’s Word

Amy Christine Baggett

“Concentrate on your character.”

Accepting the Unacceptable 

Delores Jackson

“Why do I have to have cancer? I’ve only lived six years.”

Weeds!

Marleah Reed

“Like weeds, it is the root of sin that must be dealt with.”

A Tough but Gentle Lady

 Mary Lou Davis Midkiff

“I learned to be a wife and mother from my grandmother.”

Rejection

 Dawn Henseler

“Forgive and love them anyway.”

Glorify Him in All Things

 Susan M. Quartee

“I don’t want to forgive that man for what he did to my son!”

Tomorrow-Land

Vonda Fletcher

(poem) 

The Race

 Laurie Diles

“Who am I? What did God make me to be?”

Helpless and Almost Hopeless in Haiti

 Debbie Vanderbeek

“What I saw made me literally cry out ‘GOD!!!’ over and over.”

My Own Things

 Donna C. Smith

“Do something for someone else and you will feel better.”

Misdiagnosed

 Mollie Sparks

“One of the best feelings ever is knowing you can help and feeling useful to someone else.”

Too Tired to Worry

 Kendra Gage

“I admit it. I’m a worry wart.”

Count Your Blessings

Vonda Fletcher

 (poem)

Thankful Thoughts

 Alicia Zell Warner

“Did you ever thank God for that convenient parking space?”

My Monster

 J. S.

“Do people who commit suicide go to hell?”

God Is Good! All the Time!

 Barbara Deal

“I am cited by local cardiologists as an example to encourage others with heart problems.”

God Has a Plan

 Janet Lee Barton

“He has shown me the way to live my dream by doing it His way.”

Count Your Many Blessings

 Lynda Hayes Sheehan

“The hospice nurse said, ‘You should do that sooner than later.’”

First Time Mommy

 Jenny Ranum

“If the Lord gave dogs the ability to raise their young pups,

do you not think He will give you the ability to take care of your baby?”

God Has a Plan for Our Lives

 Gwen Antwine

“Do you remember me?” He said, “As a matter of fact, I do.”

Internalizing Spirituality       

 Lori Killen Aus

“The stench filled the air spaces of my head,

forcing me to try desperately to expunge this foul olfactory assault.”

A Few Words

 Rita L. Goad

“The difference between a good marriage and a great marriage

 is a few words left unsaid each day.”

Mother-in-Law

    Denise Easter

“Show up, shut up, and wear beige.”

The School Skate Party

 Kathleen Samuelson

“How many times has God picked me up when I thought I was all alone?”

Reflections on 101 Years of Life

   Ruth Branum

“101 years of blessings!”

Let the Fun Begin ~ Start a Tea Club!

Joy Thoughts

Stories Are Gifts ~ Share Yours!

Acknowledgements

About the Creators of A Cup of Tea for the Heart

Topical Index

From Tough Times Don’t Last ~ Tough Women Do, now available on this website.

Copyright © 2011 by A Cup of Tea for the Heart, LLC. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in
any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the
prior permission of the authors except as provided by USA copyright law.

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You are likely familiar with the story of Job. The Bible tells us that Job was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. Satan and God had a conversation about Job one day, and Satan accused God of putting a hedge around Job, blessing him far beyond what anyone could imagine. God had faith in Job, and so he allowed Satan to take away all of his possessions, including all of his children, and afflict him with sores all over his body. Job’s wife told him to curse God and die; even his friends turned against him, but the Bible tells us, “In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong” (Job 1:22, RSV).

I would like to address illness as an “unacceptable” in life. Unfortunately for some, their lot in life will be to suffer pain. They have no choice in the matter. We do not know what will befall us in the area of health. Some are blessed with extremely long lives that are free from pain, while others endure it constantly and are never free from its grip. All of us, at some point in our lives, will be forced to deal with illness.

Three times Paul begged the Lord to remove his thorn in the flesh, but the Lord refused, saying, “My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Look at Paul’s life. He endured the torment and pressed on in the cause of Christ, never letting his infirmities interfere with his work. “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (II Corinthians 12:9, NKJV). Being ill does not affect our relationship with God, except that it sometimes makes us more dependent upon Him for strength, which we do not feel we need when we are healthy.

At one point in my life, my “unacceptables” became a huge burden for me. On Labor Day 1989, at the age of six, our oldest son had emergency exploratory surgery. We anxiously met with the surgeon, who informed us that she had removed a tumor from his intestine, and the pathology report was malignant. Our son was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoblastic Lymphoma, a very aggressive children’s cancer. After teleconferencing with other pediatric oncologists nationwide, we met with a room full of doctors and staff and were told that the protocol for this type of cancer and our son’s age and level of malignancy would be nine months of chemotherapy.

In addition to our six-year-old, we had a three-year-old son, and I was eight months pregnant with our daughter at the time of our son’s surgery. While our son was still in the hospital, I received word that my obstetrical doctor had been suspended from practicing medicine due to an alcohol problem, and so I had to find another obstetrician who would accept me in my last month of pregnancy. Also, my seventy-six-year-old mom had had double knee-replacement surgery during this period of time, and she wound up in the ICU with blood clots in her lungs and was in the hospital for six weeks. When this happened to my mom, I was at a point of numbness. All I could do was “let go and let God” take care of it. I felt so powerless and helpless. I prayed a lot, and I know many prayers were being lifted up for me, too.

The very first treatment our son received was administered intravenously in the hospital. Because these chemicals are extremely powerful and their task is to kill the cancer cells in a person’s body, the possible side effects range from agitation, confusion, convulsions, hallucinations, vomiting, shortness of breath, and high blood pressure to cardiac arrest. They brought a table into the room with all the emergency equipment ready just in case our son had a bad reaction to the medication. As they began the IV, I sat in a chair over in the corner of his room, tears streaming down my face as I watched this poison begin to flow into his little six-year-old veins, not knowing what kind of reaction he would have. The nurse had the nerve to look at me and ask, “Are you okay?”

Our son displayed amazing strength after his surgery and during his chemotherapy. One thing we realized as his treatment continued throughout the nine months was that he instinctively knew the danger and consequences of his cancer, but he chose not to dwell on it. He went right ahead living his life as a child. When his blood count would go down after a treatment, resulting in nausea and feeling bad, as the next week approached and his blood count improved, he played and did all the things that a six-year-old wanted to do. He only questioned his illness one time. One night he asked me, “Why do I have to have cancer? I’ve only lived six years. I didn’t think you got cancer until you were at least ten years old.”

Prayer is SO vital and SO powerful during times like these. I know we personally could not have gotten through that year without our son and our family being lifted up in many, many prayers and by so many people that we will never know.

There were many times during our son’s illness that things would happen and if not for a silent prayer, I would not have gotten through them. About three weeks after his first chemo treatment, he took a shower one morning, and handfuls of hair came out and were clinging around the drain in the shower and the remaining hair covered his face, chest, and back. I was close to tears and mentally pleaded with God to please help me through this and not break down in front of my son. After stepping out of the shower, he looked into the bathroom mirror, laughed and said, “Look! I’m a werewolf!” Lesson learned: children handle adversities much better than we grown-ups do!

When Job lost his possessions, he said, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb and naked shall I return…the Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21, KJV). Job was mistaken about his misfortune. The Lord had blessed him with his many herds and fine sons and daughters, but Satan took them away. The minute disaster befalls us, we ask, “Why, God? Why did you do this?”

To witness our six-year-old son, with fresh stitches in his stomach, being strapped to a board and undergoing that painful bone marrow test, all the while looking at us, yelling and crying, “I hate you! I hate you!” and all of the additional tests that followed that week to ensure that the cancer had not spread—throughout the grueling nine months of chemotherapy, my husband and I never questioned God and asked, “Why?” Instead, we both realized that because of Satan and man’s sin in the garden, God allows bad things to happen, and we accepted these cards we were dealt and worked toward a solution through much prayer and pleading to God and asking for guidance from Him.

It is so important to pray for one another in times of adversity. For God to hear all the prayers going up for one individual and his circumstances has got to be moving and touching to Him, and He tells us in Matthew 21:22 (RSV), “And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith,” and James 5:16b (RSV), “…Pray for one another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.”

As Christians facing life-threatening illnesses, God has provided us with prayer, the promise of Heaven, and a comforter. John 14:16 (KJV) says, “And I will pray to the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever.” Through these avenues, God gives us strength to make it day by day. It is hard for me to understand how non-believers make it through such difficult times without God.

Someone once said, “The great illusion of leadership is to think that we can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.” Jesus has been there—to the cross, suffering, dying, and committing Himself to God’s eternal purpose. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39, NASB). Jesus is our example, our role model in learning to accept the unacceptable.

Post Script

My son turned twenty-seven years old this spring. His check-ups have all been clear, and one could probably say he is cured. At his last visit several years ago, the oncologist assured us that our son received the lowest dosage of chemotherapy for his age and recommended protocol; he stated that if he were to get cancer again, it would be from a different source, a new tumor, or from the chemotherapy itself, which damaged the good cells as well as killed the cancer cells. One of my concerns about his attaining adulthood was that one of the medications he was given could possibly make him sterile. That concern was quickly put to rest when he and his wife presented us with a beautiful granddaughter last December. Thank you, God, for answering yet another prayer!

~ Delores Jackson ~

I graduated from high school in 1972, attended one year at Abilene Christian University and was a legal secretary for sixteen years.

My claim to fame: I actually broke the news of President Reagan being shot to George W. Bush, as he was a client of one of the law firms I worked for and was in my boss’ office that morning (George H.W. Bush was Vice-President at the time).

I was a church secretary for seven years and now work part-time out of the house and babysit my first grandchild, which is the best job of all!

I have been married to Alan Jackson (no, not THE Alan Jackson) for thirty-three years. We have three grown children—two sons and a daughter; a daughter-in-law, and oh yes, did I mention I have a grandbaby?

I have lived in Oklahoma eighteen years and have been a Christian for forty-two years.

This story is from Tough Times Don’t Last ~ Tough Women Do, now available on this website.

Copyright © 2011 by A Cup of Tea for the Heart, LLC. All rights reserved.

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